Im feeling very bored now... Maybe i should show you some rather interesting things i found in the net! Still surfing dou...
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Top 10 reasons you should work naked...
10) No one will ever steal your chair
9) Gives bad hair day a whole new meaning
8) Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
7) People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
6) You want to see if it's like the dream.
5) To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.
4) "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."
3) Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.
2) Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
And the number one reason to go to work naked...
Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.
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Intelligence test 1
1. If you went to bed at 8 o'clock at night and wound up your clock alarm to get you up at 9 o'clock the next morning, how many hours sleep would you get?
2. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
3. How many birth days does the average man have?
4. Why can't a man living in Winston-Salem, NC, be buried west of the Mississippi River?
5. If you had only one match and entered a room in which there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a woodburning stove, which would you light first?
6. Some months have 30 days, some have 31; how many months have 28 days?
7. If a doctor gave you 3 pills and told you to take one every half hour, how long would they last you?
8. A man builds a house and all four sides have a southern exposure. A bear wanders by - what color is the bear?
9. How far can a dog run into the woods?
10. What four words appear on every denomination of U.S. coins?
11. In baseball, how many outs in an inning?
12. I have in my hand only 2 U.S. coins which total 55 cents in value. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
13. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left?
14. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add ten. What is the answer?
15. Two men were playing checkers. Each played five games and each man won the same number of games. No draws. How can this be?
16. Take two apples from three apples and what do you have?
17. An archaeologist claimed he found some coins of gold dated to 46 B.C. Do you think he did?
18. How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the Ark with him?
19. Is it legal in California for a man to marry his widow's sister?
Here are the answers:
1. 1 hour of sleep. Wind up clocks don't have am/pm settings.
2. Yes, and a 5th, a 6th, ...
3. 1
4. He could be buried alive but that would be awful.
5. Light the match first.
6. All 12 have 28 days
7. 1 hour
8. White. The North Pole is the only place where all four sides face south.
9. halfway, then he would be running out of the woods.
10. In God We Trust
11. 6 outs per inning
12. A half-dollar and a nickel. (Only one was not a nickel)
13. 9 sheep
14. 70
15. They weren't playing against each other
16. 2 apples
17. How can coins be dated B.C. if the designation didn't exist until A.D.
18. I thought Noah brought 2 of each animal, not Moses
19. No. Can't marry someone if you're dead.
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Intelligence test 2
1. What is 5 divided by 1/2 plus 3?
Answer: 5 divided by .5 = 10 + 3 = 13
2. I have two coins making 55 cents but one is not a nickel. How can that be?
Answer: Only one is not a nickel, because it is a 50 cent piece. The other is a nickel.
3. Why are 1977 dollars worth more than 1976 dollars?
Answer: Because $1977.00 is more than $1976.00.
4. What word in the English language does nearly everyone pronounce incorrectly?
Answer: incorrectly
5. In the United States is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
Answer: No. If he has a widow, then the man is dead and cannot legally marry anyone.
6. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
7. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
Answer: All the months.
8. Which is correct - eight and eight IS fifteen or eight and eight ARE fifteen?
Answer: Neither. Eight and eight equals SIXTEEN.
9. A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung at the surface of the water. There is one foot between rungs and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long until three rungs are covered?
Answer: The rungs will never be covered because the boat rises with the tide.
10. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people in the family?
Answer: 9 family members total. 6 daughters, 1 brother, Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith.
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Little known facts
- A shrimp's heart is in their head.
- People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.
- In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).
- It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
- By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school.
- More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
- Rats and horses can't vomit.
- The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
- If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
- If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
- Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
- Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
- 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.
- In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.
- Most lipstick contains fish scales.
- If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.
- Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
Toilet Paper
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, still asking him how she looks.
One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.
Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
The husband shrugs, "Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't it?"
(He lived, and with a great deal of therapy, he just might be able to walk again.)
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Cows
Say the word COW before each word.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
Now say the word COW After each word
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
Now say the word COW before AND after each word.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
Now read just the words upwards from the bottom.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4- Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
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ABC
Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits.
Believe in yourself.
Consider things from every angle.
Don't give up and don't give in.
Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.
Family and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.
Give more than you planned to.
Hang on to your dreams.
Ignore those who try to discourage you.
Just do it.
Keep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.
Love yourself first and most.
Make it happen.
Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
Open your eyes and see things as they really are.
Practice makes perfect.
Quitters never win and winners never quit.
Read, study and learn about everything important in your life.
Stop procrastinating.
Take control of your own destiny.
Understand yourself in order to better understand others.
Visualize it.
Want it more than anything.
‘EXcellerate’ your efforts.
You are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.
Zero in on your target and go for it!
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The Library
The following was some of the most interesting questions asked by people in a library and are true. Imagine if you are a librarian and someone asked you this.
1) Do you have books here?
2) Do you have a list of all the books that is written in English language?
3) Do you have all the books I had ever read?
4) Where is the reference desk? (This of asked of a person sitting on a desk who had the sign "REFERENCE DESK" hanging above her)
5) I was here 3 weeks ago reading a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one is it?
6) Which outlets are appropriate for my hair dryer?
7) I need a colour photograph of George Washington. Is there any?
8) Is the basement upstairs? (This was asked of a person sitting on a first floor reference desk.)
9) Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?
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I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.
I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry. I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...
Do you have a piece of gum?
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Current mood: =)
OUT
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