The harsh reality

Results from some tests and books or something shows that I am an Eskimo in my past life.

How does it like to be a Eskimo?
Imagine living in extreme conditions, with very few friends (or even none) and... Probably no family members. Eskimos, to me, seems to be forever living alone in Antartica. Your only friends might be the Penguins or Polar Bears I guess?

But to think of it, I find it better to be a Eskimo. At least you will be living away from the hustle bustle of life. There will not be as much stress, and I guess all the harsh reality of life will never have the chance to kick you bahx.

Saw quite a couple of posts around the blogging world regarding life recently.

Maybe I had mentioned about this before, but I find the world now, it is very cruel and unfair. Today is Wednesday. The verdict is out. And my conclusion has been made. Unless there is a miracle, it is going to break apart. Really... The scariest people you see may not be the strangers outside but is the fake people inside that are really the black-hearted ones.

Can't they see the decision they had made caused so many people to get strangled in the air all of a sudden? 5 years. 10 years. 15 years of commitment. What did they get in the end? A forceful kick at your back calling you to get out.

Life is unfair.
Alrights, my life can be considered to be a blessing compared to the poor beggars. But it is a foul stench if compared to the people like Leah Dizon and Paris Hilton. If life is fair, why are there still so many people sleeping by the streets and are always crying out for food? Why are there still so many people out there struggling with life? I find it impossible to say that life is always fair.

Im glad that I was born in a family with wonderful kind and loving parents who had did a excellent job in fulfilling the duty of keeping a happy family. But many times, problems still arise and I will almost never share with them. The reason why is, I do not want them to worry. I do not want to see my family breaking apart because of me. Just like what I had read from one of the entries... Somehow... Life can be better...

Sorry for being in this state these few days. But how many people really could understand the situation now? I doubt many people around me, not even my closest friends and colleagues or even my family will know bahx, for I had been keeping my smile, and I do not want to appear weak. Yes, and I know that is not a wise thing to do.

So as what I had said before... Its only during the quiet times like this at night can I take a break from the cruel world into my own fantasy land... thats when my family are asleep, except me, pondering and penning over the ups and downs while listening to some music, knowing that there will be no one to disturb me for at least the next few hours.

And especially recently, I had started using my blog as a place for me to write down my thoughts.

BUT.....................
With the recent news and the rising number of cases where bloggers are fined or even jailed for posting up racial and religious criticisms, I am starting to find that it is getting harder to express out my real feelings via blogging. Isn't a blog an online diary? The only difference is that your diary will be open out to the world to see. Why aren't there any freedom of speech?

In real life, I tend not to think about my feelings and I often control my emotions. But in the blogging world, I tend to think more deeply and thus, I will always be blogging about almost everything. May it be my daily life to my thoughts or simply some interesting stuffs I found to share with my readers. But the restrictions are now so much that I had to think twice before typing anything. There is no freedom to blog anymore.

It will not be surprising if they day comes where my blog will be in a state where I will not show out my feelings, will never yell out about my life and became a total boring story. Then I might as well leave this place to rot away.

Alright. Its life. And we have to face it. May it be the harsh reality, the family and all the ridiculous limitations set by some ridiculous people in the ridiculous world. Even if all your source for vending your frustrations are all be blocked. Or life doesn't go according to what you want. We will still have to face it. Everyone have to face what they are facing in life. Thats what made us after all.

How I hope everything can fly by soon.
For I know the best feeling a person can get is the freedom and lightness when the huge pile of dreadfulness is lifted off your shoulders.

Sigh...
I need a break!

Current mood:
Out