Saturday, May 31, 2008

Graduation 2

沒有想到今天老天爺還是在最後下起了雨...
雖然今天的雨並不是什麼大雨...
但是再小的雨畢竟還是雨啊...
不過我就是喜歡在這些日子下起雨來...
而且越大越好...
因為它會帶給我不少開心的回憶...

...

畢業典禮...
當我看到身邊的好友...
他她們的爸媽哥姐弟妹都來捧場時...
我還真的感到有一點點無聊寂寞...

Whatever it is... I had quite a nice day today...
At least I get to meet all my friends right?

Wearing a long sleeve shirt with a hard pair of formal shoes is already a torture for me. Now i still have to wear the gown that weighs almost a kilogram over me? Haix... It was very hot... Many people are actually perspiring madly inside. Even though it is actually pretty comfortable in the convention centre from time to time.

I thought the process will take even at least a minute on stage... But actually the entire process of me from getting on the stage to me leaving the stage took only less than a minute and everything seem so fast! We were supposed to turn our heads to the front where 2 photographers will take our pictures... And they are so fast that it seems to me that I do not have the time to look at the cameras neither are the audience.

Quite a number of pictures was taken after the ceremony...
Smiled at so many cameras that my face had became out of shape...

Not to forget about the seriously hungry starving crowd...
I did not even get a glimpse of the food they have...
And even before me and my friends are done...
The people there are already clearing the empty trays...
Man... I did not even get a sip of water!
Huhu..

Err... I guess I had to end this entry soon. Read my current mood to know why. >_<
Heh... Will be writing (type?) more after I master all my strength to write again...

...

Anyway...
To all graduates!
Congrats to you on completing the final stage in this Polytechnic episode of life!
Congrats congrats...

Current mood: 我好累... 現在只想睡覺啦... 我眼睛就快要開不了了...
Out...

Friday, May 30, 2008

Graduation

Graduation tomorrow...
By right, I should be looking forward to it.
But I'm not.

不知道為何...
每當我想到畢業的事情...
我就會感到有一點點不開心...

Many friends of mine who used to study in Ngee Ann who had attended the ceremony regretted going. But at the same time, those who did not attend regretted not going so... It seems to me that even if u go or not, you will regret.

其實...
我根本就不想畢業啦...
跟不用說去什麼畢業典禮...

Anyway, I had already promised some of my friends that I will be going... It will be better not to disappoint them right?

不過...
我有一個感覺...
那就是我明天大概會感到很非常無聊寂寞...
因為我想我有一些朋友會有另一班跟加要好的朋友吧...

After all...
It always have been the case since my Primary school isn't it?
I hope I had already gotten used to it.

Current mood:
Out

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Wait Wait Waiting...

Right now I am waiting for all the files to get finished downloading.

Finally there is a day which I think it is... cooling!!
Been raining for almost the entire day...
Alrights... I feeling rather sleepy now...

And maybe its time for my laptop to have a rest.
Been in the on state for the past... ... ... ... ... 15 hours I guess?

Off I go to my bed now.



BUT...

Current mood:
Out

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

天才

這幾天我想我因該會很忙吧...
因為這幾天都有很多很多事情必須完成...
我不喜歡忙碌的生活...
不過...
我想這樣因該可以把這幾天的煩惱暫時拋到後頭吧...

今天...
我表妹跑來我家...
她的電腦出了一些些問題...
所以她就找我幫她搞定...
結果...
我成功把她所有的問題解決了...

哇哈哈...
我真是個天才...

剛才我和我爸一起看電視...
一看就看到兩點多...
一看就看到忘了時間...
平時一起看電視的我們都會很少聊天...
可是今天就在我們看到兩點多我們也就聊到兩點多...
還有...
我爸每次不到一兩點就會把我給趕去房間睡覺...
可是今天他沒有...
好像有一點難得耶...

哈哈...
我今天還算滿開心的...
真希望明天能比今天好...

還有...
我竟然能在一小時內打完一則中文文章...
新紀錄哦...
Current mood: =)
Out

Monday, May 26, 2008

聊天

Went out for a haircut on Sat, went out for dinner with my uncle later on.
And my mum n uncle talked... for so long that i almost fall asleep.
Talked about what we are facing now.
Fine... Good thing that at least they know how to be people after all...
Now its my mum to decide.

It may be better to stay on...
When it comes to you, why not take it?
But its under the black-hearted people once again.

It may be better to stay out too...
At least there will be more freedom.. right?
But everything have to start all over again.

-------------------------------------------

Just now, I had a really good laugh over a variety show hosted by Jacky Wu...
Even my dad whose laughing point is seriously high... especially towards TV... was laughing at that part when Jacky only offers TW$8000 to the case...

Laughter... How I wish this could be forever.

聊天, 說笑, 吃零食, 吃早餐, 看電視, 看電影...
現在的我... 好想找人聊天...
Current mood: Tired...
Out

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Dark.

My mum told me something today...
Only then I realized how dark the situation is...
Everything was planned so nicely and carefully...
Until...

I duno why.. I DO NOT look forward to my graduation day now.
Maybe because...

The most senior colleague of mine left NCS on Wednesday... Haix...
You should really treasure what you have now. Serious.
If not...

Current mood: Give me a break. Stop tormenting me with all those stuffs... Will ya?
Out

Friday, May 23, 2008

Face the truth!

Its only until today I realised my dad is actually also avoiding the truth.
Whatever it is....

Anyway, I went to collect my graduation gown today.
It look like some 孕服 to me lah!!!

Haix...

And today I saw a piece of news article regarding a lady posting up a video in Youtube about the Sichuan Earthquake. And how admit that she is actually feeling happy about it. I was like... wow...

And the death toll had hit 50,000...

Suddenly the news from Myanmar had disappeared... All overwhelmed by the China Earthquake.

Current mood: Give me a break.
Out

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The harsh reality

Results from some tests and books or something shows that I am an Eskimo in my past life.

How does it like to be a Eskimo?
Imagine living in extreme conditions, with very few friends (or even none) and... Probably no family members. Eskimos, to me, seems to be forever living alone in Antartica. Your only friends might be the Penguins or Polar Bears I guess?

But to think of it, I find it better to be a Eskimo. At least you will be living away from the hustle bustle of life. There will not be as much stress, and I guess all the harsh reality of life will never have the chance to kick you bahx.

Saw quite a couple of posts around the blogging world regarding life recently.

Maybe I had mentioned about this before, but I find the world now, it is very cruel and unfair. Today is Wednesday. The verdict is out. And my conclusion has been made. Unless there is a miracle, it is going to break apart. Really... The scariest people you see may not be the strangers outside but is the fake people inside that are really the black-hearted ones.

Can't they see the decision they had made caused so many people to get strangled in the air all of a sudden? 5 years. 10 years. 15 years of commitment. What did they get in the end? A forceful kick at your back calling you to get out.

Life is unfair.
Alrights, my life can be considered to be a blessing compared to the poor beggars. But it is a foul stench if compared to the people like Leah Dizon and Paris Hilton. If life is fair, why are there still so many people sleeping by the streets and are always crying out for food? Why are there still so many people out there struggling with life? I find it impossible to say that life is always fair.

Im glad that I was born in a family with wonderful kind and loving parents who had did a excellent job in fulfilling the duty of keeping a happy family. But many times, problems still arise and I will almost never share with them. The reason why is, I do not want them to worry. I do not want to see my family breaking apart because of me. Just like what I had read from one of the entries... Somehow... Life can be better...

Sorry for being in this state these few days. But how many people really could understand the situation now? I doubt many people around me, not even my closest friends and colleagues or even my family will know bahx, for I had been keeping my smile, and I do not want to appear weak. Yes, and I know that is not a wise thing to do.

So as what I had said before... Its only during the quiet times like this at night can I take a break from the cruel world into my own fantasy land... thats when my family are asleep, except me, pondering and penning over the ups and downs while listening to some music, knowing that there will be no one to disturb me for at least the next few hours.

And especially recently, I had started using my blog as a place for me to write down my thoughts.

BUT.....................
With the recent news and the rising number of cases where bloggers are fined or even jailed for posting up racial and religious criticisms, I am starting to find that it is getting harder to express out my real feelings via blogging. Isn't a blog an online diary? The only difference is that your diary will be open out to the world to see. Why aren't there any freedom of speech?

In real life, I tend not to think about my feelings and I often control my emotions. But in the blogging world, I tend to think more deeply and thus, I will always be blogging about almost everything. May it be my daily life to my thoughts or simply some interesting stuffs I found to share with my readers. But the restrictions are now so much that I had to think twice before typing anything. There is no freedom to blog anymore.

It will not be surprising if they day comes where my blog will be in a state where I will not show out my feelings, will never yell out about my life and became a total boring story. Then I might as well leave this place to rot away.

Alright. Its life. And we have to face it. May it be the harsh reality, the family and all the ridiculous limitations set by some ridiculous people in the ridiculous world. Even if all your source for vending your frustrations are all be blocked. Or life doesn't go according to what you want. We will still have to face it. Everyone have to face what they are facing in life. Thats what made us after all.

How I hope everything can fly by soon.
For I know the best feeling a person can get is the freedom and lightness when the huge pile of dreadfulness is lifted off your shoulders.

Sigh...
I need a break!

Current mood:
Out

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What now!

What now lah!
Why does everybody around me today seems to behave so abnormally today lah.
Faints~

Remember a few entries ago, I asked about if they had noticed if I hardly blogged about my daily life all of a sudden?? Maybe I had found my answer... And its a stupid answer. Really...

Well.. I simply do not like those loNg loNg loNg loNg loNg OVERLY detailed grandfather's story with no much meaning in a entry. In the long run it will just get more and more irritating cos if u lead a daily common life, meeting the people you keep meeting, going to places you keep visiting, doing the things you keep doing, eating the food you keep eating, your post will naturally keep repeating itself. It will get REALLY boring in the end. Can lastly, I guess many readers will never want to know the every details you do everyday bahx...

Current mood: ~_~
Out

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

上上下下

Really have no idea why...
Recently, my mood is just like a bungee...

上上下下的...

開心沒幾分鐘...
卻又被一些 莫名奇妙的東西搞到沒心情...
但又沒過多久, 又被一些 莫名奇妙的東西搞到只會不停的瘋狂大笑...
然後又讓一大堆怪事把我的開懷抽走...
但過後又會因想到一些好笑的東西而莫名奇妙的開心起來...
然後仔細想想...
就連我也不知道自己在想麼的...

Wonder how many people are just like me...
Or am I the only one?

Recently, I had been blogging more and more frequently with Chinese...
Probably because I find that in Chinese can express a feeling better bahx...
And you should realize I do not use Simplified Chinese.
Well, this is due to something that is not suitable to state it out here...
And yes, I do take a much longer time to type a Chinese entry. Much longer.
Anyway, remember to switch to Unicode if you had trouble reading them ya?

Made some chain blogging tonight. 3 entries in a row. Phew...
Current mood:
Out

Sunday...

Happy Birthday Mom..

Sunday was my mom's birthday. Rarely we can have a family day out. On that afternoon, my dad suddenly suggested of going for some prayers since its Vesak day the next day. So I went to a temple near Great World together with my whole family. After which, we decided to grab a movie...

But to our disappointment, there are only 5 movies for us to choose from. And all 5 of them aren't what we like to watch... So we grabbed some popcorns and had a meal in KFC after that. Then we walked all the way to a Thai temple that is just 2 blks away from my house... Yearly, this temple would celebrate Vesak Day and the carpark would be so crowded that cars would not be able to drive in. So including this year, that temple is sure crowded.

We walked home, took a bath, and went out again to the HK Cafe in Tiong Bahru for some bites with my uncle later.

Some unhappy quarrels result on our way home just because of some minor misunderstandings between my uncle and my auntie. At first it started only with some jokings and such, but it ended up with my uncle raising his voice in the car.

Sigh... It was not a nice way to end a good day isn't it...?

Well anyway,
Hope you had a nice Vesak Day. =)

Current mood:
Out

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Mosquitoes...

For duno wad reason, both my colleagues and I got quite a number of insect bites at our legs while working today... Despite wearing jeans, with socks, and covered shoes and spending almost the entire day in a air-conditioned environment.

Mosquitoes are getting smarter each day.
Their concentrated venom is powerful to leave you scratching for days.
They have the ability to penetrate even into the thickest jeans on to your legs.
They can be everywhere when there is no lights, but they became transparent the moment you turn the lights on.

They must have mastered some Kungfu

And they probably will be saying this to us.
你們殺了一個我,還有千千萬萬個我!!!
^^Grabbed from someone else...

~__~'''
好冷......

Anyway, back to some proper blogging... Finally there is a day where it is so much calmer than the previous days... But somehow, I am still having stomach upsets every now and then. Is it that serious? Or what?

Current mood: 大大的笑容背後隱藏了多少悲哀.....
Out

Friday, May 16, 2008

Fate

Noticed that practically all my entries are rather dark recently?
I wanted to post up something up to brighten up my blog initially...
But yet, something had happened just less than a few hours ago...
My mood, sank into the bottom of the sea once again...

Today, I called my cousin...
I wanted to have a chat with her...
Who knows?
Even the phone refused to cooperate with me...
My phone went dead in the middle of the conversation...
When I finally get to contact her again...
She told me that her uncle had just passed away.

I duno why...
Why are there so many things happening all of a sudden?
May it be inside or to the outside world?

Sickness...
Poverty...
Death...
Confusion...

Current mood: Tired...
Out

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I hope...

Struggled myself to work today.
It was raining so heavily.
And the wind was so strong and cold.
And yet my stomach have been feels like it has been punched hard.
The weather which I suppose to enjoy turns out something to make me struggle more.
My stomach had been giving me problems for the past 24 hours.
Since last night.
Yet, I still have to work.
My colleague needs me to help him with some work.
I cannot say no right?
Probably it is because of the drink I had the day before.
My colleagues who had the same icy drink as me also have the same fate as me.
Just that they are less serious.
Maybe it is also because of the cheesy stuffs and mint drops I got yesterday.
Will I feel better tomorrow?
I hope.

---------------------------------------------------

Sometimes it is not the outside world that you feared most.
Sometimes it is the inside that will make you suffer.
Today my mum broke a piece of bad news to me.
Why are they doing so?
Whats ending will end eventually.
Whats coming will still come in the end.
Next week shall decide the fate.
How I am going to decide how they will be will be on next week.
Will they be cruel enough to push us into the lake?
Or will they be kind enough to keep us up?
I have no idea.
The tough unfairness will soon be gone.
But could it turn out to be a blessing in disguise?
I hope.

---------------------------------------------------

I found out something today.
All my efforts gone to waste.
Disappointed.
It is not the first time.
Isn't it amazing that I can stay perfectly calm when I am suppose to flew into a rage?
This is so not me.
Maybe I should take a look at the good side.
Maybe you will be happier that way.
Maybe your family will feel better that way.
Maybe that thing is not worthy after all.
Maybe.
I hope.

Current mood: Tired...
Out

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Nightmares, for a few nights straight.

Sometimes does dreams bring you to the same place over and over again? But you can say that u had never been, or never seen that place before?

For a few nights straight, I have been dreaming of the same place over and over again. And all of them are nightmares. Not scary for me though... But somehow I can only vaguely describe the place only. Its dark and its just like common corridors you see outside your flat. In my dream, there are always black broken legs standing somewhere... Den in somewhere, there is a black body hanging by the necks from the windows, without their legs. But the bodies and legs are never in one place. You will not see it here now but when you turn around and back, its there. And one more thing, I was constantly running around in my dream. Up the stairs and down everywhere.

Sounds like a scary movie to me.
Will I have the same recurring dream again tonight?

i LOVE the picture above... Coolness...
I had created another blog in Wretch... Was thinking of shifting The Tragic Comedy to Wretch... No worries... My World will still stick with me. Saw the new link below my name? It will bring you there. The blog there is still pretty much under construction, so what you see there are just junks for now
Current mood:
Out

Monday, May 12, 2008

Death

How does it feel like to die?
Or maybe, the moment before you die...

Probably complete numbness...
Probably complete coldness...
Probably complete painfulness...
Probably shivering...
Probably tiredness...
Probably exhaustion...
Probably you will be gasping for air...
Probably you will be struggling...
Probably you will be crying...

Ok.. Its a weird way to start off an entry. But I have been wondering... especially after reading my friend's blog, who also had blogged something about death... How does it feel to die?

I remember blogging about my life and death quite a while back. Something that have got to do with water. Well, that time, when I sink into the water, I can only remember I was moving, along with the water, then there is a hand that suddenly pulled me up. I could no longer remember how I felt after that. In fact, I don't think I felt anything, except for the water in my nose. That was so many years ago. At least 15 years in fact. So... Could drowning be a painless way to die?

I was reading an article about death... It stated that death by hanging is actually a slow, painful process... Even if the rope breaks your neck. Yes, you will not be able to move after that, neither could you feel anything from neck below. But you are still alive!!! What will you feel after that is the high pressure in your head. Blood vessels may burst. Blood may flow out from your ears and eyes. But only a few people will die because of that. Most people will die from lack of oxygen eventually. Its will be sort of you-want-to-struggle-but-you-can't situation. So why does the world uses hanging as a method of execution?
Evil justice.

Current mood:
Out

Saturday, May 10, 2008

大頭。。。

Zzz... Recently went to Vivocity.. Initially wanted to make myself a new pair of spects, because the current one i have is broken. Those who always see me should know this!

Well, But i got a big problem...
那就是我頭大!!!

I was not able to find a suitable pair. The only one that is suitable is shockingly expensive, after discount, including the lens. WHAT!!! $286!!! Even more expensive than a Levi's spects...

Sigh...
This big head of mine is forever giving me problems, since young.
Well? There is nothing I can do right...?


Current mood:
Out

Myanmar.

One of my friend is going back to Myanmar to see his family over the next couple of weeks.
And I have a couple of friends from Myanmar.
I hope they are alright...

The world has changed.

Current mood:
Out

Friday, May 09, 2008

Once i wake up, I am back into the cruel world.

Dreaming...
How i wished time could stuck at this moment...
Its only during the quiet times like this at night can I take a break from the cruel world into my own fantasy land... thats when my family are asleep, except me, pondering and penning over the ups and downs while listening to some music, knowing that there will be no one to disturb me for at least the next few hours.

Maybe thats one of the reason why I enjoyed the deep nights more than anytime of the day I guess? Even in afternoons alone at home, there will be no such feelings because of the hustle and bustle outside, moreover, phone calls or text messages may come in anytime to distract you, to pull you back into reality...

Well, recently, not really also, but something had happened, and is going to happen... That sort of made me feel rather down. This also have some sort of linkages to my previous entry about the society.

I have a question...
Why are the rich getting richer while the poor only gets poorer, at the same time, why are the evil only gets more evil while the angel only gets more miserable? This is so unfair... I hate to see it happening.

And yet, life still have to go on. And I can only keep this to my heart. Who knows if you said it out, people will start to take the wrong point of view and started throwing their negative views on you? It will only comes back to square one in the end. So sometimes, I rather keep more things in myself than to have them out.

Its 3am now, guess its time for me to end the day in my bed, and wait for the next reality comes to life.

Current mood:
Out

Thursday, May 08, 2008

大大的笑容背後隱藏了多少.........

Ok.. The title is taken directly from a blog (Not the last part) of a Taiwanese actress...
Yep, got inspired with one of her recent post...

Sometimes because we want to protect our friends, sometimes because of our family, sometimes because of the things around us, we choose to remain silent. Thats because we know, even if we said it out, it will be useless. And when you said it out, the media will take it in different views and said out two completely different stories, even if it supposedly are completely the same. In the end, what will be discussed most are just the harsh and cruel comments from the society. So why must we reveal our privacy to the media? Why can't we have any privacy? Why aren't there anyone who can mitigate this loopholes in the society?

The above paragraph are translated from her entry.

Well, seriously, I had always hated about the gossips and news that will affect their reputation. But in times, I can't help but to read it, and in the end, believing it, and cause me to leave a scar in my opinion of them. I believe many people are also guilty of it isn't it?

Anyway, after reading that entry, I had seriously agreed on the fact that the society CAN BE so, and IS so unreal...

Recently, I had a chat with my mum, regarding a magazine article about the news we often see now. It is especially so, and is especially obvious in newspapers, and even more so in Mandarin newspaper. The magazine article stated the major differences between the news from the past to the news we see now. Did you see the trend that the news, or media, are turning itself into an alternative source for us to vent our anger on, for us to fill up with more and more gossips and try our lucks with all sorts of number combination to gamble on, for us to complain whatever whichever we can, for even if its just a person flipping through the newspaper loudly in the train station or even simply coughing in the bus without your hand covering your mouth?

In addition, did you realise that the news, especially entertainment news, are seriously losing its purpose? Just like the actress blogger mentioned, the news now are always eating into their privacy, and always writing those non-relevant news. If you ask me to, I can easily find a very good example. During the period when Fatty (A HongKong actress, Shen Dian Xia) was constantly getting in and out of hospital, the media was constantly throwing out news of her isn't it? However, the news are hardly anything that is of good. You can almost see at least a half page long section filled with pictures, and four digit numbers that always seem to bring a good fortune to themselves everyday. The death of her had eventually become something for people to place a bet on, in hope of getting rich. When she was sick at home, reporters were seen crowding around her, trying to catch the most miserable picture of her in her hardest time, and showing their skills of taking such pathetic pictures to the public. Somehow, not only does those do not provide me with what supposed to be reported, it only seems to provide me information that the society is mixed with selfish money-faced people who will only cares about themselves, as well as black hearted people who will take others misfortune as a source of entertainment for themselves.

Not to mention about the media, even in our own life, do you agree that the society is so unreal now? Even we ourselves are losing our privacy. What happens if you find yourself in the newspaper the next day with pictures of you changing your clothes in the washroom? A big smile from a close friend if yours can turn into a evil snare that is ready to bite your head off the very next day.

Well... The actress blogger I mentioned is 王瞳.
Her entry, and what I had read, and talked about, sets me thinking... ... ...
... ... ...
... ...
...
... ...
... ... ...

PS: If you had read this entry earlier, you might find that I had almost changed the entry completely... Well, yea.
Current mood: Thinking...
Out

Friday, May 02, 2008

Priang!!!

I saw this clip...
Where is situated in a shopping mall...
A camera is set to face the entrance directly...
The entrance is just 2 glass doors u often see everywhere...
The mall is crowded...
Den there is this lady running at full speed...
She ran directly into the glass door...
And the impact actually smashes the glass door...
Everyone got a shock...
Hurh? O_o?

Current mood: ITS TIME TO TRAIN UP AND RELAX!! SERIOUS!!
Out..